Remember my first post about Breastfeeding where I was all worried about going back to work and all that? Well, it turns out I never needed to worry. Emma stopped getting my breastmilk at 6 weeks. We went through a lot of BF’ing issues during those first 6 weeks.
For some people, breastfeeding is really easy. It comes naturally, and both the momma and baby do well. This was not the case for us. Emma started off her life with latching and sucking issues. She has a really strong tongue reflex and not a very strong suck, so she could not latch on. We had to use a shield. We did okay with the shield for about 5 weeks, and I tried every. single. day . to get her to latch on without the shield. The shield was causing way too many problems – it fell off constantly and she was taking in too much air. We needed to be done with it, but she wouldn’t let it go. Then her hands started going crazy and she would bat the shield off with her hand, or pull it off with her mouth. We both became frustrated. She also became frustrated because my milk would not let down fast enough. Our eating sessions were not efficient and she was not getting enough.
Her heart condition made breastfeeding difficult as well. She would go real hard, and then jerk her head off and pant/sweat. Repeat.
But that’s not all. At week 5, we FINALLY discovered that she has a very severe milk protein & soy allergy. I had cut dairy out of my diet (and all the other major allergens, total elimination diet) when she was 5 days old, but at week 5 she was still having blood in her stool. I could have continued breastfeeding, but she was reacting to my milk. There is a small percentage of babies, like her, who are allergic to breastmilk after all the allergens have been eliminated. SO it was either deal with a baby who would scream/arch back/kick legs every time after she ate for a whole year (not to mention the latching and sucking issues we were already having), or move on. Also, the doctor believed that if we continued with the breastmilk, it would cause major damage to her GI system. It was already causing her acid reflux to flare, and the doctor was certain that her insides were inflamed and eaten up. We chose to move on, and I have never felt more relieved in my life. At the same time, I have never felt more GUILTY. I just cried and cried. I wanted my baby to get my breastmilk. I know it’s best. I know it helps with immunity, etc. We are lucky that our pediatrician has been so supportive and has provided samples of formulas. I love her so much! I have a girl crush on her! Probably because I talk to her or see her about twice a week. HA!
We first tried a hypo allergenic formula that you can buy at the store for milk protein sensitive babies. This was the only one she could drink that was store bought. Of course my baby also reacted to this. She is super sensitive. At week 7, she was prescribed a formula by the doctor that we have to order through a medical supply company. Luckily, we have really good insurance that will cover a portion of the cost of this formula, and it will actually be cheaper than if we had continued with the store bought hypoallergenic formula. To give you an idea, the prescription formula would have cost $500 for a monthly supply, but we only pay $100/month with our insurance. The store bought formula would have cost about $200-250 a month so we are saving roughly $100. Pretty good if you ask me!
At first, giving the formula out of a bottle was a complete nightmare. Emma was one of those babies that “refused” the bottle because she only wanted her momma’s breast. It took about two days of trying, a lot of tears and frustration, frantic texts and emails to friends, and a few tricks (feeding her in her bouncy seat or carseat; feeding her in her sleep so she didn’t realize it was a bottle), before she finally gave in. We tried every type of bottle and nipple in the world, and finally settled on a wide base nipple that probably reminded her a breast. It was a Playtex drop in bottle suggested by my doctor. After she became comfortable with the bottle, I decided to try Dr. Brown’s bottles again, because they have come highly recommended by so many mothers. Emma was have so much gas and was swallowing so much air with the Playtex and Avent bottles we were using. Once we switched to Dr. Brown’s, I noticed a significant difference in her gassiness. She was a happier baby. I couldn’t use Dr. Brown’s at first because the nipple was too small for her to latch on to and she needed something wider like the breast. However, she got good enough with the wide mouth bottles and making the switch to Dr. Brown’s after a few weeks was no problem.
So far, Emma is doing okay with the prescription formula. We are still having some problems, and have been referred to a GI specialist. It is my intuition that her acid reflux is still bothering her, and I think the GI doctor will probably prescribe her another medication, such as Prevacid, in addition to the Zantac. Hopefully this will be our answer – our FINAL answer.
What have I learned from all of this? That feeding is a struggle. Many moms experience all sorts of feeding issues with their babies. But the most important thing: WHATEVER WAY YOU CHOOSE TO FEED YOUR BABY IS OKAY. It doesn’t make you a bad mom for formula feeding as opposed to breastfeeding. Nothing has irritated me more than hearing the breastfeeding advocates and la leche league lovers look down upon mothers who don’t breastfeed. Yes, I think everyone should try to breastfeed, even if it is just for a day. But if it doesn’t work out because you had a breast reduction, breast implants, latching issues, sucking issues, health problems, have multiples, reflux issues that require a thickener, OR YOUR BABY IS SEVERELY ALLERGIC like mine, then please don’t judge. I tried. I wanted to breastfeed my baby so badly. We already feel enough guilt as it is, so don’t rub it in or stick your nose up at us. And you know what? There are benefits to both breastfeeding and formula feeding. I can let anyone in the world feed my baby. I can prepare it easily and in public. I am less stressed as I don’t have to pump & store my breastmilk at work or stock up for anytime I have to leave my baby. My breasts don’t get uncomfortable or full anymore. I don’t leak! I can bond with my baby better as I feed her, because we sure weren’t bonding over the breast when we were both frustrated. I am less frustrated and stressed out in general. These are all the positive things I have gained from formula feeding. Please know that whatever way you choose to feed your baby, I will support you J. We mothers need to do more supporting of one another, and less putting each other down.
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